Sunday, April 27, 2008

SurgeXperiences, Learingly

So here it is, the TWENTIETH issue of SurgeXperiences. That this carnival of all things surgical has made it to this milestony moment is testimony to the perseverance of Jeffrey Loew, who birthed it quite alone and without benefit of breathing techniques. If this is how he addresses all his goals, he's sure to become the surgeon to which he aspires. It seems a significant passage. I'm honored (so I've convinced myself) that he chose (forced, cajoled, tricked, shamed) me to mark the occasion. So...

There follow the entries received,
In rhymes I have lately conceived.
I offer to you
The best I could do.
It's over, so I am relieved...


In general I'd say I'm inclinedta
Avoid making holes in vaginas.
The trend, though, is clear.
You can read of it here.
To explain, Rico's taken the timeta.


That's not the first time it's been said.
It's possible you may have read
When Buckeye spoke out.
And I've had a shout.
Some surgeons have holes in their head.


A surgeon must do what is right.
But there is some trouble in sight.
The first thing to go
As plastic guys know
Is beauty, when money is tight.


This frightening tale is from Bongi
Who tells us he's doctored a zombie.
I believe every word
'Cause I've never heard
A suggestion that he's ever wrongi.


I'm not sure I know what I thought
When I read what technology wrought.
It might just be true
That no one will rue
The day when I'm dumped for a bot.


Before Annie started her journey
Of sharing her words with attorneys,
She was a young nurse
Who avoided a hearse
In an OR once used by McBurney.


Bob Bernstein has something to share,
Although the hirsute may not care.
He'd just like to reachya
About alopecia,
And move around some of your hair.


We learn quite a lot from a guy
Who lets a doc laser his eye.
He gives us the facts;
If you're worried, relax:
He thinks you should give it a try.


From David who writes on an isle,
A lesson in what sort of style
A doctor will need
If he's to succeed:
You listen and try not to smile.

Another from Dave is right on.
He's singing my favorite song:
For deep in its heart
Our work is an art.
Ignore that and you will go wrong.


When tripping down memory lane,
Rob Oliver hopes to explain
What was going on when
He was two years and ten
In the field in which he's now playin'.


From the Philippines comes a post too serious to rhyme: as in boardrooms, jury rooms, employee and teachers' lounges, in the operating room there are sometimes words spoken and behavior manifested best left out of the public realm. But this clearly went way too far.


Dave Gorski calls surgeons to task.
Before jumping in you should ask
If the new ways are best
Or might still need a test
Before you slip into your mask.


This article sends out the love
To surgeons who don double gloves.
It's not that it's dumb
But my hands feel numb;
I say "no" 'less there's cameras above.

Ramona is one of a kind.
If ever you're caught in a bind,
The shirt off her back
You never would lack.
She'd give it and not even mind.

(The preceding has nothing to do with her post; it just happens to be true. In her essay she eyes, in fascinating detail, a little-discussed syndrome. )


Since the days of our heroes of old
Surgeons have thought themselves bold.
But sometimes it's best
If we give it a rest
And helpfully do what we're told.

(Especially if it helps prevent sterility in cancer patients.)


In thinking of losing her bits
She's come to the end of her wits.
Less parts in the nether?
She does wonder whether.
At least her new blog will get hits.

(Originally, the last line was "Of course she will still have her... sense of humor." But I decided against it.) And part two of her post is here.


Another post from bongi. The subject seems unsuited to lighthearted verse. We make difficult decisions every day; the hardest are often when it's time to do nothing more.


A dentist requests that I act
On this informational tract.
It's less like a post
Than many or most,
But there's data for you to extract.


Readers might say it's uncool
To hype oneself, but there's no rule
Preventing me from
Referring to some
Faves from my memory pool.


Now Bongi once more raised his hand
From his home in a far away land.
Midst branches of nerves
I guess he deserves
To brag how he handled a gland.


Our carnival ends on this note:
I thank you for all that you wrote.
Were I more a poet
I'd happily show it.
On the other hand, it's admittedly a questionable way to showcase your work, forcing, as I did, a thumbnail into an unyielding format; and if anyone feels their essay got short shrift, I'm sorry.
And I hope that you know it.

The next issue of SurgeXperiences will be hosted at The Sterile Eye and will appear on May 11. I assume there'll be word of it at that site; and if past is prologue, posts ought to be submittable here.


Anonymous said...

Very cute - I love Limericks. Chuckled at the "at least she still has her tXXX" potential ending. Bravo.

Devorrah said...

That was just wonderful--thanks Dr. Schwab.

Bongi said...

masterful! the best ever!

Anonymous said...

Awesome! Thanks for including my post among all these great stories. I have to agree w/Bongi--I haven't caught every edition of SX, but this is the best I've seen.

I feel I need a pint of ale to go with this edition. ;)

Doctor David said...

That was amazing! I bow humbly to your poetic skills. It's an honor to be included.

SeaSpray said...

Oh Dr Schwab! I LOVE how you put this together...the limericks are great! I regret that I didn't submit something.

I am linking to this and look forward to reading them all. :)

Anonymous said...

Just great! I read everything at one sitting. Thanks, Dr. S., for the clever presentation, and kudos to the bloggers who were featured.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious... nicely done. I would expect nothing less.

Dr. Rob said...

So Sid, was your head hurting after all that rhyming? It's harder than it looks.

Sid Schwab said...


In rhyming you're second to none
To me, you're clearly the one.
I'm just a pretender,
To you I surrender
All claim: no wit, and all pun.

Øystein said...

"Lower your expectations" Yeah, right!

Fantastic edition!

And I'm supposed to host after this...

Jeffrey said...

wow. what an edition. makes us wonder why you ain't hosting more often. you put my hosting to shame. i wonder if others feel the same. i look forward to your continued participation! :D

Oystein, you'll be fine!

Øystein said...

Here's the call for submissions for the next edition.

Neumed said...

Excellent post. Very creative. Must have taken hours to come up with all those limericks.

Anonymous said...

Yowza! Fantastico! If only I knew something more than, "There once was a maid from Nantucket...."

Thanks for including my "travelogue amongst" such wonderful posts!

dr_clairebear said...

hi, doc! thank you for linking me to your blog. i'm just sad that it had to be for an incident that definitely puts us docs in general and Filipino doctors in particular in a bad light. :(

i will be back to sample the list of blog articles you've laid out for tasting! i've always enjoyed reading about the medical experiences of doctors and medical personel from all over the world.

keep blogging!

Palmdoc said...

Great stuff Sid!
I couldn't help but write this ;)

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this incredible carnival, I have never seen something similar! And thank for poetrying and for scary picture :)


Moving this post to the head of the list, I present a recently expanded sampling of what this blog has been about. Occasional rant aside, i...