tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post3183174790067866757..comments2024-02-18T13:53:30.168-08:00Comments on Surgeonsblog: Rectifying, ReduxSid Schwabhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14182853083503404098noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-3369169354157451652014-11-02T09:24:51.545-08:002014-11-02T09:24:51.545-08:00As an OR Nurse, I have come across similar situati...As an OR Nurse, I have come across similar situations, thankfully infrequently, but more than enough in my career of 31 years.<br />The latest was a lime. <br />It was to be the second case of the day and on the schedule board, it simply read, "Removal Foreign Object Rectum". So toward the end of the first case, as is common practice, I asked the surgeon for info on the upcoming case. And this is when it started! "It is a lime." says Dr.. Of course the shenanigans ensued.<br />As we were getting the patient onto the stretcher to go to PACU, Dr. was standing in the open doorway and said, "I'm going for salt, and what else do we need?" Everyone in the room, in unison said, "Tequila!" And a riotous laughter commenced.<br />Quite coincidentally, I had recently purchased a T-Shirt with a lime with an arrow over to a coconut. This was for fun for a camp shirt. This brought to mind the old song, "Put the Lime in the Coconut" by Harry Nilsson. So, you guessed it, that is what we played during the extraction of a lime from rectum case.<br />I can remember having great fun in surgery many times in my career, but this is the latest and may I say, one of the greatest.<br />OH MY GOD, Irreverent!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-71507563791783953712012-08-08T15:20:05.674-07:002012-08-08T15:20:05.674-07:00Worth a try. In this case, though, the problem was...Worth a try. In this case, though, the problem was holding it in one place to allow such a maneuver. I couldn't get purchase from below with any sort of clamp, and I couldn't stabilize it by pushing on the belly, from above.Sid Schwabhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14182853083503404098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-27131596646387291602012-08-08T13:35:13.520-07:002012-08-08T13:35:13.520-07:00Sid,
I had idly wondered if you had encountered t...Sid,<br /><br />I had idly wondered if you had encountered this sort of thing, but considered it a long shot. Evidently I live too sheltered a life.<br /><br />Anyway, should the need arise once more, I am confident that one can seat a drywall screw firmly into the bottom of a 3" diameter candle.Sam Spadenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-91831639726690940282008-12-03T10:54:00.000-08:002008-12-03T10:54:00.000-08:00SzD: the problem was the large diameter, and the s...SzD: the problem was the large diameter, and the slipperiness. Any of those methods (other than melting, which would have required a flame of some sort in an environment of noxious gasses (since other cautery devices require grounding via tissues, which wouldn't happen in wax), require the ability to grab and stabilize the candle. But the inability to do so was the problem. Had I been able to grab in such a way, I'd have been able simply to pull it out. I've been thinking about the previous corkscrew idea; I think it'd have failed for the same reason, but I wish I'd have thought of it. I have a corkscrew on my Swiss Army knife and would have been happy to have given it a shot, assuming corkscrews weren't otherwise available...Sid Schwabhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14182853083503404098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-68400305894315103642008-12-03T01:19:00.000-08:002008-12-03T01:19:00.000-08:00I'd have tried chipping/cutting/melting away enoug...I'd have tried chipping/cutting/melting away enough wax until the wick was exposed. Then pulled it with the forceps. Or did that not work? <BR/><BR/>On the light bulb - I'd have thought that fluids/mucus present would prevent the suction cup arrow head from sticking.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-52957826776367691612008-12-02T08:37:00.000-08:002008-12-02T08:37:00.000-08:00galbinus: if one could get enough purchase to hold...galbinus: if one could get enough purchase to hold a candle still while inserting a corkscrew, one wouldn't need the corkscrew.Sid Schwabhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14182853083503404098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-46609854402756926432008-12-02T07:33:00.000-08:002008-12-02T07:33:00.000-08:00No wine drinkers in your operating room? I would h...No wine drinkers in your operating room? I would have thought a corkscrew would be an effective extractive tool for candles, and perhaps potatoesGalbinus_Caelihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14028664616614850907noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-41901772627402022442007-10-18T15:55:00.000-07:002007-10-18T15:55:00.000-07:00oh my.... Former Frontier Editor just directed me ...oh my.... Former Frontier Editor just directed me to your site after reading my FO in the anus post.<BR/><BR/>great story! now I have to add you to my blogrollAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-42439033574218213622006-11-22T12:33:00.000-08:002006-11-22T12:33:00.000-08:00In residency there was a book of X-rays in the cal...In residency there was a book of X-rays in the call room. By far the most memorable was an abdominal film demonstrating an enormous (Black and Decker 'mag lite' variety) flashlight lodged in the ironically named descending colon. <br /><br />The caption read "Rectal foreign body. The patient was de-lighted upon it's removal"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-40976445037371513132006-11-21T18:15:00.000-08:002006-11-21T18:15:00.000-08:00This happened to me so many times when I was a res...This happened to me so many times when I was a resident. Since it was a decade ago in a different city I will share the stories. <br /><br />I remember the guy who came in on the gen surg service to the ER ( I am gyn). He had an acute abdomen no idea no history why. they do an xray and see a metal object and a metal screw much further up the colon. Turns out to be a TABLE LEG -- little metal thing was the tap at the floor end and the screw is where it screws into the table. Surgeons ask him "didn't you think this wold be relevant to your ABDOMINAL PAIN?". He then tells the story of the house break in and assault where the leg was inserted (lubricated well they find out in the OR).<br /><br />On the gyn service I was called to see an RN with acute pain. In the exam room she has a tennis ball stuck in her vagina. She was brought in by her tennage son and makes me promise not to tell him the real cause. She tells me "well doc you know how it is, you're married and trying to get a little spice folling around inthe closet with your husband and it slips too far inside". I really could not fully relate to that scenario. <br /><br />I also remember the whole series of vacuum cleaner penis injuries my urologist friend was called to see. There were all accidental while calmly cleaning up in one's bathrobe. <br /><br />But the # story was while a medical student at Boston City hospital. There was a photo inthe call room on the surgery service "wanted for all crimes - the dude brothers". Everyone who came in shot inthe butt whould say I was minding my own business when these two dudes came up and shot me! Then the police would show up and tell us of the gang fight or attempted liquor stor hold up. We wanted to know which hospital all the croiminals went to when shot since our patients were all politely minding their own buisness when stabbed or shot. Got to the point where we would say" let me guess - you were probably just minding your own business when these two dudes shot you!" and they waould say "yeah yeah you are the best how did you know!"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-60880623600201521782006-11-21T01:07:00.000-08:002006-11-21T01:07:00.000-08:00Do you talk like you write? If so, I bet you are t...Do you talk like you write? If so, I bet you are the life of the party.Cathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13540096932312929506noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-54336077837885300042006-11-20T06:09:00.000-08:002006-11-20T06:09:00.000-08:00"wick-ed tough" Very creative writing.
My surgic..."wick-ed tough" Very creative writing. <br /><br />My surgical observation day is the week after thanksgiving...I should be so lucky. Unfortunately, I will probably be stuck with a prostatectomy or something...<br /><br />As usual, great read.Intelinursehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17609767439508682181noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-46799666115772198782006-11-19T18:22:00.000-08:002006-11-19T18:22:00.000-08:00Hilarious. I remember once when I worked at a psy...Hilarious. I remember once when I worked at a psych hospital we had a patient who successfully swallowed a complete playing card--and was physically prevented from almost swallowing another . A day or so later, when she passed the card out of her system while having a bowel movement, we heard the tech who found it yell "Blackjack"....Bo...https://www.blogger.com/profile/02136803397641401011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-89447829019617363002006-11-19T11:37:00.000-08:002006-11-19T11:37:00.000-08:00God, I love these kind of stories. When I first g...God, I love these kind of stories. When I first got out of nursing school, I worked as a Colon-Rectal surgical nurse. At first, I didn't believe all the stories our docs told the nursing staff, but it didn't take long before I had stories of my own.<br /><br />Great post, as usual.<br /><br />MJMother Jones RNhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01298418463273622952noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-89849968097020681462006-11-19T11:33:00.000-08:002006-11-19T11:33:00.000-08:00Candles are indeed a nightmare...
I have found th...Candles are indeed a nightmare...<br /><br />I have found that upon entering the room the best thing to say is... "hello I'm Dr. Trench, I hate to hear about the problem you are having, so first let me say that we see this about once a week, so there is no need to feel embarassed... trust me (smile) I've probably taken the same thing out of your minister"<br /><br />This invariably avoids both of us sitting uncomfortably through some bullshit "fell on it "story.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-74608028262255764762006-11-19T10:34:00.000-08:002006-11-19T10:34:00.000-08:00Dr Schwab-
Your FFA patient, the one with the colo...Dr Schwab-<br />Your FFA patient, the one with the colostomy. Now he is no doubt getting a little on the side...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-78253209433100937972006-11-19T07:16:00.000-08:002006-11-19T07:16:00.000-08:00these people have way too much time on their hands...these people have way too much time on their hands.....<br /><br />did you read about the guy in england who, during the 'guy fawks' celebration, lit a firecracker that he placed "between his buttocks"? went to the er with burns and unspecified internal injuries. had his friends record it on their cell phone cameras. <br /><br />uh huh.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-22041750245190517662006-11-19T06:15:00.000-08:002006-11-19T06:15:00.000-08:00Did you read the article from some British medical...Did you read the article from some British medical journal or other about how ED docs removed a lightbulb from a man's rectum? <br /><br />Three Foley catheters, run up past the obstruction, were used for traction. Then the docs stuck one of those *suction cup darts* from a toy gun onto the end of the bulb and pulled.<br /><br />They borrowed the gun and darts from a junior resident.<br /><br />I love that story.Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16520599099436383317noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-27509203173601301652006-11-18T07:49:00.000-08:002006-11-18T07:49:00.000-08:00As the great show Seinfeld excellently explained t...As the great show Seinfeld excellently explained the nature of such engagements: "One in a million shot, doctor. One in a million."<br /><br />I laughed so hard I fell out of my chairrr....uh oh.<br /><br />Crap,<br />MSGMedStudentGod (MSG)https://www.blogger.com/profile/02670042423377931696noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-33913094783897118142006-11-18T06:09:00.000-08:002006-11-18T06:09:00.000-08:00Dr. Schwab, excellent post! Great read for startin...Dr. Schwab, excellent post! Great read for starting my day! *LOL*<br /><br />Have been out of circulation for a while, but hope to get caught back up and begin reading (and posting) in earnest again very soon. I can see that I have a <i>lot</i> of catching up to do here. You know, I wouldn't miss a word of it for anything!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-25690754117195437142006-11-17T23:39:00.000-08:002006-11-17T23:39:00.000-08:00This was great!
Perhaps he was simply performing ...This was great!<br /><br />Perhaps he was simply performing a new folk-medicine technique, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ear_candling">Ass candling.</a><br /><br />"I'd never claim to be great, but that night no other surgeon held a candle to me." -- BEST line in whole post!<br /><br />Hilarious!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-80097119054885418052006-11-17T22:29:00.000-08:002006-11-17T22:29:00.000-08:00"i'd guess it had had practice". that cracked me u..."i'd guess it had had practice". that cracked me up, because that would be my guess too :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-26916651401449488822006-11-17T14:41:00.000-08:002006-11-17T14:41:00.000-08:00Mr Lord would be proud, Vasha :D
(coincidentally,...Mr Lord would be proud, Vasha :D<br /><br />(coincidentally, it was the same Mr Lord who eponymously named his scrotal procedure AND his butt plug. What a guy...)Phoenixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02888089682386053436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-28929680013903035712006-11-17T13:41:00.000-08:002006-11-17T13:41:00.000-08:00I da-n near fell off my chair reading this. Good ...I da-n near fell off my chair reading this. Good thing I caught myself...who knows where I'd land.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30499448.post-56439828427111529682006-11-17T13:34:00.000-08:002006-11-17T13:34:00.000-08:00Not too surprising that most of these people who e...Not too surprising that most of these people who end up in the emergency room tell unlikely stories -- anyone sophisticated enough to actually admit they enjoy putting things in their rectum will probably also be informed enough to use a proper butt plug, which widens out so that it can't go all the way in.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com